1. Friends won’t always stay, and you should choose your friends based on quality over quantity.

Friendship is a big theme; I’ve learnt that quality over quantity is so much more important when choosing friendships. In the same way of friends for a reason, friends for a season, friends for life, people aren’t always going to be in your life and when you’re younger it is hard to accept that. I think you believe, as a child, that the only way to lose a friendship is to have a big fallout and that’s it, friendship over. But as you get older you realise that people outgrow each other and people move on and it isn’t anything to do with you as a person it’s just life and that’s okay, so cherish friendships and love them but accept that they may not be in it for the long haul.

Also, thank you to all my lovely friends. You’re all wonderful.

2. You don’t know what is around the corner.

This is one of the easiest things to say because there is this unwritten narrative that bad things don’t happen to you, or your family or anyone you know. It’s always someone else. But it isn’t, I’ve been reminded of this harshly in the past week and when something horrific happens it harshly reminds you of the fragility of life.

You’re born and you believe you’ll live until old age and there’s so often that doesn’t happen because the truth is, none of us are guaranteed an extra day. Please don’t waste your precious and short time on the planet.

3. Very much in the same light as point 2, your family aren’t getting any younger.

Until I lost my Nan in 2015, I naively thought, it’s okay she’s going to be here forever and so will everyone else I love. But that isn’t the case and if you know it like I know it then I’m sorry but it’s true. So, hold your parents closer, spend time with your family, make time to make memories with them because they’re not going to be here forever and to put it bluntly, it will be crap when they aren’t. Tell everyone you love them and do it unapologetically.

4. No matter how crappy your day is going, putting the TV on and watching Friends will make you feel better.

This may not apply to everyone as I have learnt that not everyone likes Friends, which is mind boggling but still personal preference and all that. It doesn’t matter if you have seen it once or 400 times, it will make you feel better and you can escape to Central Perk for a bit and be jealous of all the 90s fashion, and of course the Rachel hairstyle.

5. People don’t have the same heart as you.

A hard pill to swallow, like a pill that when you put it in your mouth it expands and expands until you choke. This is difficult for me for many reasons but I think the most baffling one is for example, I try to help people because I think that is what is right and surely if you’re in a position to do that then you would want to…but other people don’t care and I don’t understand it. Once again, I understand that people are different and if we were all the same it would be boring etc., but it just seems like something you would want to do. Anyway, before I waffle on any more about it…yeah, people don’t always have the same heart that you do and that is okay, you just must adapt to treat people accordingly.

6. Kindness is never wasted.

The simplest acts of kindness cost nothing and in a world where people are dead set on spreading negativity, I think it is important to remember to smile at people. People have their own battles and just because you don’t know about it, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist so we should all be that teeny tiny bit more considerate and be nicer to each other, in real life and on that thing called the internet. In better terms, don’t be a dick.

7. Self-care is not mumbo jumbo.

People hear the words self and care together and their eyes roll about 56 times because they think it’s just whacking a bath bomb in the bath and boom, all set. It can be as simple as that, I love a bath bomb, but it’s a very personal thing and can be what you want it to be. For example, for some people going for a run would be their self-care, to me, going for a run is torture. Regardless of what you do, it is very important. Your body is yours for the long run, so look after it! Whether it’s an early night, eating a bit healthier, buying a magazine, whatever it is you will reap the benefits of self-care.

8. It’s easier said than done, but don’t care what people think of you.

The people you spend years trying to fit in with at school may be cool, but I can guarantee as soon as you leave school you will no longer care what they think of you. School may be a bad example to use because you’re still forming your own idea of yourself and with the added pressure of the popular lot, it is easy to get caught up in trying to conform to everyone else’s standards. I get it, whatever makes school easier for you. But I hope you all find the peace of getting funny looks for wearing a rainbow of colours and just smiling back, because it is fun.

9. You aren’t better than anyone.

This isn’t a low blow, because they aren’t better than you either. I don’t care what anyone says, whatever qualities they possess that you wish you had or whatever you have that you think is so superior…irrelevant. Completely irrelevant. Everyone has silent battles; everyone is struggling with something and everyone makes mistakes. This leads me nicely on to comparison being the thief of joy…focus on your own progress! A flower does not focus on blooming at the same pace as the one next to it, it does it in its own time. There’s probably a science behind the way flowers bloom but I prefer to look at it that way.

 10. Take as many pictures as possible.

This is important to me, but I don’t always manage to do it. There may be a point where photographs are all you have that reminds you of the memories you made, so take the bloody pictures.

 11. Not everyone has a voice, use yours for them.

Whether you choose to acknowledge them or not, there are many injustices in the world, and some are a lot closer than you may be comfortable to admit. This also means that there are a lot of people who don’t have the voice that you do, so I think it is very important to lend them yours. Call people out on what’s wrong with the world, hold people accountable, do something.

 12. Form your own beliefs and opinions.

There will be so many people who have a huge influence on your life and as a result, you’ll hear so many different opinions. Don’t just take someone’s viewpoint because you love them or whatever and want to make them happy, if you do have the same opinion then great. If not, also great, you can still respect other people’s opinions and have views of your own.

 13. Learning is a gift and an important one.

I am lucky that there are so many places I can go if I want to learn something new. If I want to learn a language, I can download an app and be on my way etc. Learning is something that in school you just did it because you needed to pass some exams and I think there’s an assumption that when you’ve left school and done everything you need to do to get a job, that’s it you stop learning. And I hope that is never the case. Ever. I am thankful that I can learn new things and I think education is so important. I never want to stop learning new things.

 14. Buying things for yourself is rewarding.

I don’t mean a chocolate bar, but that can also be rewarding. But when I bought my car and paid for my insurance and all the other fun car stuff (hi, it’s expensive, just walk everywhere or roly-poly) I felt a sense of achievement that I hadn’t felt before, because that was my car and I bought it with my own money. I feel lucky to have had a job since I was 16 so I’ve been able to fund my own lifestyle and not rely on asking my parents.

 15. Timing doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you get a degree at 21 or 47 (or any other age, 47 was just the example). It doesn’t matter if you get married at 18 or 52 (once again, example). It doesn’t matter if you learn to drive at 17 or 34 (you get where I’m going with this). It doesn’t matter, because you’ve still earned a degree, or you’ve still got married and you can still drive. Everyone’s timing in life is different and that’s okay. I think it’s scary because for the first part of your life, you know that you’ll be in school until your 16, then you’ll do something else until you’re 18 and then you might go to university straight away at 18 and it’s all very structured and there’s no wiggle room. Well people, wiggle away, do everything at your own pace.

 16. To the people who say a dog is just a dog, I do not understand you.

I was lucky to have a dog growing up, but I was still quite young when we lost him, so I don’t really remember him that well. But I know how hard it was when that day did come. I was then lucky that a while later, we got another dog and 11 years later we still have that dog, but she has pulled on our heartstrings many times. We’ve faced many health challenges with Pippa and the question has been raised so many times of “are we keeping her alive for our benefit or is she still okay?” and the vet has always reassured us that she’s still good to go. There’s been many times we’ve sat down and had the “this could be it” chat, but you still go downstairs in a morning and she’s there bouncing around like a puppy and ready to go for her walk. And I understand that not everyone likes dogs, for different reasons, but I feel very lucky to have experienced the love from a dog because for me, she’s been there through the hardest times of my few years on the planet. She can’t say anything, and if she could she’d probably tell me I was a lunatic but there’s some reassurance in walking around the park just waffling on to your four legged best friend who is far more interested in what dog has peed on the blade of grass she’s just walked over. They’re bloody amazing dogs, dogs over people any day. So, thank you Pippa for being the biggest part of our family. Thank you also for always making me guilty when eating a packet of crisps if I don’t share them with you.

 17. Don’t rely on someone else for your own happiness.

There’s something to be said for these films that show sad people who get into relationships and then are suddenly incredible happy. You can be happy with other people and loved ones will probably make you happy. But you shouldn’t rely on them to make you happy, it’s your own responsibility and there’s only you who can control it. A quote I like is, don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket. No clue who said it, but I like it.

 18. When you doubt yourself and think you can’t do something, watch Legally Blonde.

Channel your inner Elle Woods. I can’t tell you how many times I have watched Legally Blonde throughout my final year at university, but it helps.

 19. Sometimes you just need to take a break.

It is as simple as that.

 20. There’s a huge world out there.

This seems obvious, but there is huge world out there. Whether you want to explore different countries and be well travelled or whether you want to try something new that’s in the town next to you…do it. There are new opportunities everywhere, don’t continue complaining about your mundane life when there’s the opportunity for it to be brilliant. Truth is, it’s only going to be as brilliant as you let it.

 21. PJs at 2pm are always acceptable.

Not only are they acceptable, they are celebrated. I’m proud to say I’m one of those people that have way more pairs of pyjamas than I do going out clothes because I just love my pyjamas.

I feel pretty lucky to have learnt these things by 21 and feel kind of like a wise old owl so if you learnt anything from this YAY and let me know what the most important thing you’ve learnt over your lifetime is.

Thank you as ever for reading all the way to this point,

All my love, Lia x