I’m a sucker for reflective posts like this so naturally thought, why not reflect on my decade?! I haven’t tweaked this, it’s simply a raw piece of writing of everything that came to me during my time thinking over this past decade. I encourage you all to do the same, don’t publish it unless you want to, but take notes of the good, the bad and everything you want to change.

Dear Lia,

2019 is drawing to an end, not only the year but the decade as well. You’ve laughed at countless 2020 vision jokes and have felt particularly reflective this past month, so this letter seems fitting.

As 2010 started, you were in your last year of primary school, for the record year 6 was the best year of school and that’s a fact. I’m not sure if you had any worries but I doubt you did, you were going to turn 11 and were 2 years closer to the age you dreamt of for years. You completed primary school and cried a lot when you left and nothing quite prepared you for what was next.

Secondary school was a different kettle of fish to say the least. To start year 7 you had a solid friendship group and got roped in to going to gardening club at lunchtimes which was quite a laugh. Friendship groups started to alter and the bitchiness of teenage girls shone through, you weren’t all innocent as I think 13 year old girls are probably all as bad as each other. You faced troubles, probably like most but you got through them. Trust me, years 7-9 were a breeze. I don’t think anything could prepare you for what you unfortunately experience in the later years of secondary school. And it was awful. There’s no questioning that. Previously, you didn’t really get tips on how to deal with instances like that especially at 15, but thankfully now it is spoken about more. I’d like you to remember that yes, it was awful and you question why you let it happen but my god, you’re stronger now than you ever were and would never let that happen nowadays. At times it felt like the world was against you, but I guarantee you were never alone and having one person who believed you made it all easier. That friendship may not exist anymore but you’ll always be thankful for it and if the time ever came, which I hope it never does, you’d be there to support the exact way.

Through all of this you made excellent friendships and memories as an air cadet and it is an experience that you will treasure forever, and let’s be honest where else would you have flown a plane at 15? Be grateful for this.

In 2015 your world came shattering down and you experiences your first major loss and although you knew it was coming, nothing could truly prepare you for it. You lost your Nan, an idol, a friend, someone to laugh with, someone who made a cracking cup of tea and never questioned how many biscuits you had, someone who was unapologetically brilliant. Maybe by the end of the next decade it will feel somewhat real because right now it still doesn’t but rest assured in the moments where you really need her, you somehow know she is around. Like many of the women in your life, your Nan showed you how to be sassy and take no crap, although that’s established in me I am yet to practice it. When it feels really unfair that she is gone, be thankful for all the memories you shared, be thankful for everything she taught you and more importantly, be thankful that Mary Pashley was your great Nan because she was one in a million.

Sixth form went by in a blink of an eye, it really did but you somehow survived A-levels. No, I don’t know how you did either. Then university came round, in true Lia style you flipped every plan you had for that on its head. At one point you wanted to be a doctor, honestly you don’t even like blood and I have no idea where you got that idea from. Then a journalist, your love of writing inspired this so it seemed like a good choice but I don’t think journalism was ever the right path for you. You chose psychology as an A-Level and that’s it you didn’t look back. You’re currently in your final year at Sheffield Hallam University and stressed (in true Lia style). University has been mind boggling to say the least. You’ve gone from hating it and wanting to drop out to being quite sad that soon it will be over. You’ve made some great friends and trust me, you wouldn’t have got this far without them. Remember that, and please stay in touch with them when you leave. Also always remember that you really pushed yourself at uni, not just in your studies but in extra curricular activities as well. It paid off, you got awards, reinforced your love of having a voice (ask any member of your family…) and wanting to make a difference. Your confidence has improved in ways that you would have previously never imagined but in many ways you still have a lot to improve on, that’s okay you have time, so just keep faking it until you make it.

I don’t know what you’re going to do after uni, I really don’t and it scares me. Everything else before this has been lay out and now it’s time for the big, wide world and it seems terrifying but I know you’re ready for it. Whatever happens, if the graduate schemes accept you, if you have to use your lined up back up plans or if you’re left thinking “shit”. I know you’ll get through it, because we have come this far.

You’ve started to travel more and please don’t stop. See as much of the world as you can because you don’t know when you will no longer be able to, whether that be because we start to lose these magnificent places or because something happens to you. Be realistic, you aren’t invincible but please, go and make memories.

You’ve found things your passionate about in so many shapes and sizes, in creative elements and in wanting to help people. Don’t let go of that and do everything you can to explore all these different paths you have zooming around your head. Always remember that Gandhi once said in a gentle way, you can shake the world. Take that and use it. Please use it. Life is precious and short, do everything you want to do.

You’ve started to set yourself challenges and I am proud of you, particularly for completing the Great North Run because I do not know how you bloody did that. I really don’t, continue to surprise yourself and everyone else, Lia. Please. It will be worth it.

Guessing the next 10 years in 2009 didn’t occur to me and I was probably too busy watching Disney Channel to care but now, although it terrifies me I’m so excited to see where the next ten years will take me.

Continue doing everything you want to do and don’t let people stop you. Stand up for yourself, stand up for others for the people who don’t have a voice themselves. Laugh a lot and please take pictures wherever you go, you don’t know when pictures could be all you have left. Throw kindness around, it’s one of the few things that are free.

Lots of love, Lia xx

P.S. Happy New Year, everyone. I hope you make 2020 fabulous!